Dirty Power Metal Slut Babydoll

Why why WHY are there no decent metal band shirts for women? I know metal in general has always been strongly male-dominated (and I wouldn't want it any other way, it's not very feminist of me, but girls in metal bands? meh.) - and that everything including the band merchandise is therefore designed to cater to men. But do they really expect us women, who by the way, deserve some credit just for being brave enough to enter this world of dirty grunting men and thereby abandoning the lady-like behaviour which is expected from us, to also give up our god-given right to dress nice, and instead wrap ourselves in three times oversized men's shirts concealing every female curve that differentiates us from these same dirty grunting men?!
Well...apparently they do.
But we are not supposed to complain, because there have been some attempts to appease us when they came up with the so-called girlies, (or if you prefer ungrammaticality, 'girly's') made from stretchy material which often enough supposedly 'fit all'. Unfortunately these girlies are also usually only available for girly bands that girly girls love because the lead singer is so hot and girly.
What's worse, they also go by the name of 'baby doll' sometimes, which I think by itself sounds demeaning (I'm not a baby OR a doll, you idiots), but when googled leads you to a page called 'Dragonforce Ladies' Apparel: Dirty Power Metal Slut Babydoll'. Wow, Dragonforce really understands women and metal.

But I've heard...that there are decent girly shirts around, that they do exist, and I know it must be true because I own a few of these mythical creatures (don't tell anyone though). Sometimes girly shirts with logos of bands that even men would want to be seen wearing appear in obscure online webshops. Of course, there'll be no good picture of the shirt itself, but it'll be the outline of a girly shirt with the logo pasted on by some guy who simply edited the picture in Paint just to deal with the inconvenience of marginal female shoppers. And that's a bad move. Because I'll tell you something about women; we shop. And if there would be pretty pictures, and other things besides shirts (and I'm not talking about the slutty Slipknot tanktop which somehow always turns up everywhere), I'm telling you, we would go for it.
If something does not change soon, I am going to cut up one of your perfect square-shaped Devildriver manshirts and I will sew it into a dress - that's right, a DRESS. That's the thing with men and male-governed worlds; if you want something done, you'd better do it yourself.

Seven years

Some say life is a succession of seven-year periods, each of them defining a different stage in your life. I guess that could be true to some extent. I spent the first seven years of my life in Rotterdam, after which my family and I moved to a small and quiet town, a major change for all of us. During the next seven years I went from elementary to grammar school, changed from a girl who had a single best friend into someone who actually belonged to a clique. Nothing particularly great happened when I became fourteen and entered the next 'stage', although over the next few years I gradually became your typical teenage poet lamenting the agony of everyday life and the uselessness of it all. And then I fell in love, life became brighter (although the colour of my clothes did not), I graduated and went to college, moved out of my parent's house, learned many things, met new people... It just seems silly to consider these events which took place during seven years to belong to a single stage in life. Maybe this theory does not work out so well for me after all. But say it does, that would mean I have just started the fourth seven-year stage of my life. Nothing special happened to mark the transition from the previous period into this one though. People are probably supposed to become grown-ups during these seven years; finish their studies, get a job, get a car, maybe get married, maybe have kids (eek!). Hmmm... For now, I think I'll just try to do the first and worry about the rest later. Maybe in the next seven years.